Two - The Basics When it Comes to Online Dating - Due Diligence
Okay. So you want the relationship to become more serious, you want your date to come further into your life. Be clear with yourself sooner rather than later that this is what you want, and carry out due diligence before stepping up.
Run checks. You can do some of these checks yourself. Or you can hire a private investigator to run the checks for you. A PI may have greater access to forms of information than you do, for example, they may be a paying member of a website or organisation that provides more information about people than you can get for free on the internet.
Checks can include anything you have a 'nose' for. Anything that strikes you as begging for verification. Something odd your date has said.
Some of the more usual items to check are below. Don't be restricted by this list. If your gut or intuition is pulling your earlobe - listen. Act.
The usual items people ask to have verified.
Name
Age
Address
Current Employment
Work History
Car Registration
Social Security
Criminal History
Financial History/Records
Property/Shares Portfolio
Associates/Friends/Childhood Connections
Memberships
Qualifications
Business/Social/Community Recognitions/Awards/Achievements
Hobbies
Marriages/Divorces/Previous&Current Partners
Unusual personal events, e.g. involvement in a car accident, house-fire, other.
Of course, discrepancies, gaps and contradictions between the information you have received directly and the information gathered in due diligence will raise anything from mild to serious questions for you. What you do with that is up to you. Generally, problem-solving with your head is a smart way to go; prevention is better than cure etc.
Addenda
1) Self-confidence
It is perhaps too obvious to be said, except for some, so...
Before you begin your dating process, assess your self-confidence and if needed - build up the confidence you have in yourself as a person. It's a big, wild world. Ensure you are strong and competent.
You don't want to be searching for a mom or a dad to your juvenile child. This will raise the risk level enormously. You are a responsible adult. Make sure you have the basic skills to run your own life and psychology and decision making before bringing someone else (initially a stranger) in real close.
Do the personal development work necessary to ensure you won't be handing over control of your decision making processes to others, especially people you haven't even run due diligence on.
2) Your Disaster Plan
It is absolutely vital that you have the information about your dating activities in a safe and accessible place, in the event of a problem. This will enable those close to you, or the police if it comes to that, to track you and help you as quickly as possible.
Be smart, be safe, have fun.
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This article was written by Raven H, a qualified and registered
Private Investigator; author of crime fiction short stories and novels,
including the forthcoming Burn For Me, featuring Detroit's own
Detective Gamble and the intrepid Australian PI, Abe Whitmore
(previously featured in The Brisbane Tunnel Disaster).
For your free Crime Zine full of quick byte,
crime fiction stories, and regular reader and writer info:
Seismicfish.com/crimezine.html Subscribe and unsubscribe at will.
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